Across the Universe
by o0tyarah0o
Summary: Why the fuck does this have reviews.
1. Second Chance

_Across the Universe_

Chapter One

"Cassie Maxine Avery!! GET OUT OF THERE!!!"

I repressed a sigh. "Ronnie, I'm fine." I said, softly, quietly, so as not to draw the attention of the angry mother grizzly. My hands grasped the needle behind me tightly.

"Cass!"

_Ronnie Chambers, will you shut up?_ I thought in exasperation. He was going to get me killed if he went on like that.

"Cassie, I'm telling you to get the hell out of there _this instant!!_" Ronnie screamed.

The bear's head turned slowly to look at me. Any normal person might be scared out of their mind. No, make that any _sane _person.

Fortunately for me, I wasn't sane.

Like lightning, my hand shot out to touch the rough, furry hide. The bear's small eyelids drooped as the acquiring trance fell upon her. My other hand withdrew the needle.

By the time she lifted her head to look around with a dazed expression, I was already climbing out of the large cage and back to Ronnie.

Ronnie grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard. "Cass, don't you _ever_ do that again!"

I pulled back, pushing his large arms away from me. "Ronnie, listen. I've faced down far worse than a Mama grizzly, and I'm still alive. Why can't you just accept that I can take care of myself?"

He looked at me with deep concern in his dark eyes. "I care about you, Cass. If anything ever happened to you…" he trailed off as his hands caught mine tightly. "Please, promise me."

I looked away from those worried eyes. I didn't deserve that sort of concern. "Nothing's gonna happen, Ronnie."

"_Promise me._"

I sighed. "Fine, I promise."

_Not like anything _could_ happen now days. No more war, no more facing death everyday…_

I gently pried my hands from Ronnie's. "Now, listen, Ronnie. I've got to finish up at the office, 'kay? You go on home and I'll be back in a little while."

He smiled. It was so easy to make Ronnie happy.

"Sure, Cass. See you there."

I returned the smile. "See you there."

I watched as Ronnie left the cages, trying to master my sense of impatience with the tall, dark Asian. He treated me as if I were something breakable, as if I could fall apart in his hands. He didn't seem to understand the dangers I had faced in the past. He didn't understand me. Not really.

_Does he even love me? _I wondered suddenly. _Maybe he just wants to be with me because I'm an Animorph. Maybe-_

I quickly shut my mind to those thoughts. Ronnie loved me. The concern on his face proved it.

_Or maybe he was just worried he would lose his precious little Animorph._

I shook my head in anger as I walked to the office. Anger at me, anger at Ronnie, anger at Jake…

Jake.

He had left eight months ago, along with Tobias and Marco and some other friends of his. He still hadn't come back. I had expected that. It still hurt.

_I could have gone with him. I should have gone with him._ Useless thoughts spun around in my head, weaving a web of depression. I couldn't let this go on.

_Oh, Jake…_

The look of raw hurt on his face as I declined his marriage proposal. The look of betrayal in his eyes when I let Tom have the cube. All the anger and love and pain that had gone on between us during the long, cold war. All gone. Forever.

_Could have gone with him. Should have gone with him._

I kicked a soda can across the pathway.

Well, it didn't matter any more. Jake was gone; so were the others. I was alone. And they were dead, dead and buried, somewhere far across the universe.

I wiped a hand over my face, dissolving the already-dried tears. Jake Berenson, the one person in my life who could still hurt me even when he was no longer here.

And of course I missed Marco and Tobias and Ax. Though I hadn't seen the lonely boy-turned-hawk in years, I still missed Tobias terribly. And Marco… I smiled inwardly at the world's desolation at the disappearance of their favorite celebrity. And Ax.

Ax, the alien. Funny how rare it was for me to think of him that way these days. Ax, the Andalite. Ax, the outsider. Had always been, and after the war, always will be.

He had never been that open about himself or his childhood, and though I had never realized it during the war, Ax was an extremely private person. I knew that he had been considered clumsy and unintelligent, had always been thought of "Elfangor's little brother". Though he had never voiced it, we all knew he resented that. How much, however, I couldn't be sure. Ax, the unintentional introvert.

I smiled to myself in nostalgia. How I missed them all, and Rachel, and even that whole, stupid war. I had never thought I would miss all that. But after they left, I found I wanted to do anything to get them back.

Wanted to, not would. I did still have a small dose of common sense left to me.

Ronnie.

_He doesn't really love you._ My mind insisted stubbornly. Angrily, I pounded my head with my hands in a useless effort to rid myself of such thoughts. What was wrong with me? I was usually a good judge of character; what was wrong with me?

**Nothing is wrong with you, Cassie.**

I whirled at the sound of a familiar voice in my head. It had been so long since someone had last thought-spoken to me, and I craved the sound like a starving man craves food. But no, it couldn't really be him, couldn't really be…

"Ellimist?" I asked hesitantly.

**Yes, Cassie. It is I.**

I froze. Then, slowly, I turned my head to stare at the deceptively old-looking man, outlined faintly with blue. "What are you doing here? The war is over; you have no need of us. Of me." I amended quickly. The others were all dead.

**They are not, Human Child. They are no more dead than you are.**

I bit back the impulsive retort that they would be better off dead anyway, if that were the case. "Ellimist, please don't play games with me. I can't take it, not now. What on earth are you talking about?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice level, without much success. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled slightly. **So suspicious, Cassie. Have I done you wrong?** The smile turned slightly mocking. **Recently?**

I sighed and shook my head. No, the Ellimist had never really hurt us. It wasn't his fault we had been thrown into this war; we could have chosen not to partake in this particular version of hell, but we didn't. And because of that, Jake was dead. And Rachel. And everyone else.

**Do you not listen, Child? I have told you: your friends are not dead. You do not understand.**

"No, I don't understand. Is that a problem?" I snapped. "Considering the fact that I have never understood you, is that really so strange?"

**Interesting.**

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, you got me. What's so interesting?"

**You have changed. **He frowned slightly, an odd note to his voice. **You are much more aggressive in nature.**

My eyes closed. "You noticed that, huh?"

**Yes.**

I felt my anger and irritability collapse. It wasn't like I hadn't seen the changes within me in the past few months- no, make that years. A slight tendency to snap at people, to be annoyed easily. An aloofness that surrounded me, giving me the sort of 'hands-off' aura that Rachel always had. Too much sarcasm at times, a recklessness that had never been there before. God, had I changed. But somehow, I had always denied it. I didn't want to believe that- heaven forbid- I was truly changing at last. _**So suspicious, Cassie…**_

Yeah, I was suspicious. And angry, too. The Ellimist seemed to a good creature to focus those things on.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I was going to focus my anger on a guy who could easily knock me out of existence with the wave of a magic wand. Meanwhile, back at the psych ward…

I bit my lip. Jake had said that. That was Jake's saying. And Jake was dead.

_**Not dead,**_** Child. Listen to me. Look at me. **_**Your friends are not dead.**_

Slowly, it began to register somewhere in my grief-torn mind. "Not dead?"

**That is what I said.**

"What do you mean, not dead? How can they _not_ be dead? They've been gone forever, and they're not coming back. That I know. They might as well be dead!"

The Ellimist sighed in exasperation. **Cassie, they are not. That is the reason I am here.** He hesitated.** You know, of course, that I am not allowed to interfere with other races.**

"Of course." Was there too much sarcasm there?

**And so I cannot save them myself. But you can. If I tell you what happened to them, perhaps you can save them.**

I peered at the Ellimist through narrowed eyes. "This doesn't have anything to do with Crayak, does it?"

**I'm afraid it does. Cassie, Crayak has created a monster of great power, even greater than that of the Howlers. He calls it 'The One' and it is capable of destroying the entire universe. If I- if you do not defeat it, Crayak will rule. Is this really what you want?**

"No." I murmured. "No, I don't want that at all. But how am I supposed to help them? I can't get a ship, and there's no way I can convince Ronnie to let me go." I pushed away the painful image of Ronnie if I told him. He would be devastated.

_His poor little Animorph…_

"NO!" I shouted, banging my head against the wall. "NO, leave me alone!!"

Suddenly, I was aware of a cold hand touching me face. **Cassie,** the Ellimist whispered. **Cassie.**

"What's wrong with me?" My voice broke. "Ellimist, what's wrong with me? Why am I thinking these thoughts? They're not true, I know that. Why?"

The Ellimist gently stroked my hair. I had let it grow long, and it had taken some time getting used to, but Ronnie had insisted.

_Ronnie…_

**Cassie, Ronnie Chambers does love you. Nothing is wrong with you, but you need help. Specifically, from your Andalite friend.**

"_What?_" Somehow, I had not expected that. "Ax?"

The Ellimist smiled. **Yes, Human Child. The one you call Ax. **

"Not Jake?" I blurted.

**Jake was not a telepath the last time I checked.**

I shook my head in confusion. "Ax wasn't either."

**Not in the way you know it.**

I shrugged. That was probably true. I didn't know much about telepathy.

**Aximili speaks in thought-speech. He therefore has a rudimentary telepathy with which he can sometimes sense another's thought without speaking to them. Of course, they must also possess telepathy, or at least a strong empathy.**

"And so…?" I prompted.

**If he is particularly close to such a person, sometimes an Andalite can form a partial mental bond with them.**

Slowly, the realization dawned on me. "A mental bond? Wait, are you saying- I mean, I'm not a telepath, so how- you said-"

**Hush, Child. Though you are not a full telepath, neither are you completely psi-null. How do you think you can so easily see others' intentions and motives, emotions and thoughts?**

I was speechless.

The Ellimist smiled, greatly amused by this. **Cassie?**

"Ellimist," I began slowly, "are you saying that I have a partial mental bond with _Ax_?"

**Yes. Yes, Cassie, I am.**

I drew a deep breath. There was nothing wrong with that, of course. Not really. It was just… unexpected. Yeah. Not disturbing at all. Not. One. Bit.

**Sarcasm, Cassie. It is your way of hiding.**

I glared at him. "Ellimist, why did he not tell me of this? Why didn't you tell me of this?" My anger was returning at a startling rate. I didn't want him to know how close to the truth he had come.

**Aximili did not know the bond was forming, himself. I know how hard for you it is to think of him as such sometimes, but he is just a child. He would not understand such things. And because he never completed his training as an **_**aristh**_** at the academy, he would never learn of it, **the Ellimist replied cheerfully. I wanted to strangle him.

_Cassie!,_ my mind voice exclaimed, thoroughly shocked. _Strangle_ him?!

The Ellimist spoke to me gently, as if to a child, but with a hint of urgency. **You must go, Cassie. If you do not find your friend, it is quite possible that you might lose your sanity. **

I buried my face in my hands. Deep breaths, Cassie. In, out.

Amazing how much that little voice in my head sounded like Jake. Amazing how I had never noticed that Ax's human voice was almost the exact same.

I looked at the Ellimist. "What do you want me to do?"


	2. Love Hurts

**This chapter is a little darker, a sort of preview of what is to come. It's short.**

Chapter Two

"Ronnie! Ronnie, wake up. Hey, Ronnie," I whispered, shaking the sleeping form gently. "Ronnie!"

"Mmmm-hmmm…" he murmured. I smacked him lightly.

"Hey, sleepy. Awaken."

Ronnie bolted up. "Cassie!"

I smiled at him, though it was forced. "Don't have a heart attack, Ronnie. I only treat animals and aliens, remember?"

"Oh, man, I'm sorry, Cass. I didn't mean to fall asleep, honestly," he said, brushing his fingers through his long black hair.

"It's okay, Ronnie. I'm not gonna call the police or anything," I told him, releasing my hold on his broad shoulders. "I just came to…"

I hesitated. "I mean, I need to… Ronnie…"

He shook his head, concerned. "What's up, Cass?"

I inwardly groaned. Why did he always have to look so caring? There was no way I would be able to do this.

"Ronnie, can I talk with you?"

He looked confused. "Sure, Cass. What do you need to say?"

I drew a deep breath. "Ronnie, I'm leaving," I blurted.

"_What?!!"_

"Ronnie, I-"

"No! No, Cassie, you can't! Why? What's wrong?" He looked like he was about to cry. I felt my heart twist painfully. "Is it something I did?"

I took his hand in mine. "Oh, no, Ronnie, nothing you did. Please, this isn't your fault. It's mine. Ronnie, I…"

Ronnie squeezed my hands. "Why?" he asked again, a tortured look in his dark eyes. My heart broke.

"This has to do with _him_." It was a statement, a fact. No hint of a question. The way it always was when we discussed Jake.

"Yes," I whispered. "Ronnie, I'm sorry. I can't explain everything to you, not now, not ever. Please try to understand. I need to help him."

"Cassie, he's been dead for years." The utter certainty in those words startled me. I looked up to see tears in his eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

He pulled my face upward, forcing me to make eye-contact with him. "You know it, too. Something in you died when the war ended. I know; I could see it in your eyes. I know we were never that close before, Cass, but something drew me to you because of that. I wanted to make you whole again. I knew I could. But Jake? Jake's dead, Cassie. You must accept that."

"No," I whispered. "Please, Ronnie, let me go."

He sighed. "I'll go with you, if this means so much. Please, just don't leave me!"

"I have to. Ronnie, don't make this harder than it already is."

He was silent for a moment, thinking hard.

"Cass, how can I know for sure?" he asked me suddenly. "How can I know that I didn't do something to drive you off? Please, Cassie, don't leave. I love you," he whispered.

I struggled to force the words past my trembling lips. "I love you too, Ronnie. Don't forget that. It's just…" I bit back the rest of what I was about to say.

He pulled me close. "Just what, Cass? Please tell me. What did I do to you?"

"Nothing," I whispered, fighting tears.

"Cassie, please."

There was no way I could resist the pleading eyes and anguished voice. "You're just… just so protective. I understand that you don't want me to get hurt, but I can take care of myself. Forgive me, Ronnie."

"Cassie…" His mouth opened, then shut. His breath came fast.

"Ronnie, let me go."

Ronnie's expression hardened suddenly. "You don't believe me, do you?" he demanded.

"Ronnie, what-"

"You think I don't love you." His laugh was harsh and bitter. "You think that all I care about you is your celebrity status. Like I care about that." He waved his, dismissing it. "You're a little vain, in a way, Cass, thinking that I love you only because you're famous. I mean, it's cool and all, loving someone who is a classic hero. But that's not the reason I love you, Cassie." His voice dropped abruptly. "I remember seeing you for the first time, Cass. On the playground, in elementary school. I had just moved there, and no one wanted to be anywhere near me. I was too shy to talk to anyone, and most of recess I would spend in the lunch room, all alone. My mother had died recently, and my father had turned to drinking. I remember the glazed look in his eyes whenever I came home from school, the way he would yell at me if I didn't finish my chores or get my homework done. I remember the first time he actually hit me, and how I ran to school that day, too hurt to even cry at first. Then at lunch time, you came and asked me what was wrong. I had no idea anyone even knew my name, and there you were, asking me if I was all right, if I wanted to talk to you about it. In a way, you saved me, Cassie. You gave me the courage to stand up for myself, to tell the school counselor what was happening to me. Eventually I was even adopted and given a new home and a new, fresh start. I made friends." His dark eyes held mine for a long moment. "All because of you, Cassie. I owe you my life, in more ways than one. My little brother was a Controller." His voice broke. "And then when I saw you again, when I saw the hurt on your face, I just had to help. I love you, Cassie."

The tears spilled over, and he held me close to him, murmuring soothing words into my ear. "I love you..."

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, Ronnie and I, but eventually, the moment had to break. I slowly drew back and wiped the tears from my face. "Ronnie, you know I love you too, but I can't stay here, knowing that somehow, I can still save him."

His face turned to stone. "Okay, Cass. Leave, then. I know you think that I don't love you, but for some odd reason I find that I still want to prove it to you somehow." His hand reached out and grabbed something hard. "You're not coming back, Cass. I can see it in you eyes. And even if you do, it won't be the same. You'll be with _him_. I want you to know that if you leave, I'm leaving, too."

The moon chose that moment to move out from its steady cover of clouds, and I saw a flash of light glinting off the hard object in Ronnie's hands.

A gun.

"Ronnie, NO!!!" I screamed, lunging for the shining, glimmering pistol aimed directly at his heart, but he was too fast. In the next second, blood was everywhere.

"NO!!!!!"

I grabbed frantically at his wrist. "Ronnie, look at me. Ronnie!!"

His eyes fluttered open slightly. "Cass?"

"I'm here, Ronnie, it's okay. I'm calling a doctor."

"No," he stated in voice that was somehow firm, yet painfully weak. He grabbed my arm. "You leave, I leave."

"Ronnie…"

His hand touched my face, gently brushing away the tears that streaked it. "You leave…. I love you, Cassie. And I… I do forgive you."

"No…!"

Then Ronnie breathed in and exhaled slowly. And, just like that, he was gone.

It should have taken a few more minutes. He should have still been breathing at that point. But somehow I knew that deep inside, he had lost the will to live. Because of me. Ronnie was dead, and it was all my fault.

"I love you," I whispered into the darkness. But no one alive was there to hear me.

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**I know, I know. This is mean. But I had to get rid of Ronnie. I love him, but a simple break up isn't enough. When I get to writing more, you'll soon find out why.**

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**Oh, yeah! Please review. If I don't get any, I might just have to leave it at that, because everyone hates me... :) Lol, j/k.  
**


	3. Saying Goodbye

**A/N: This next chapter introduces a character I haven't posted about yet. In the near future, I will be posting a story called Shala, explaining who she is and how she came to be. For now, just bear with me, okay?**

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Chapter 3

_Why?_

I walked alone across a long narrow bridge, seeking a comfort I was now sure I would never find.

Ronnie was dead.

Just like Jake.

What did it matter what the Ellimist said? There was no way I could save my friends; I knew it. They would die, and that would be my fault, too. My fault, because I had neither the strength nor the courage to save them.

They would die, and this time, I would be the one to blame.

My fault.

I leaned against the side of the bridge, looking at not the gorgeous sunset that lit the sky, but at the dark, murky water below. It would be so easy to leap off the bridge and splash into a cold, wet death.

_Would Ronnie be there? _I wondered idly. _And Jake? That could get a little awkward._

But I could love both of them. They wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

_What is heaven like?_

_No. It wouldn't be heaven for me, I guess. Paradise is no place for cold-blooded killers._

It wasn't just Ronnie, I realized. I had killed before. Countless Yeerks, countless Human Controllers, Hork-Bajir, Taxxons, all gone because of me.

Heaven was definitely no place for murderers.

I pulled myself up onto the railing. One wrong move and I would be falling into that icy, black hell.

Or was it one right move?

I leaned forward, almost able to feel the refreshing coldness…

A hand stronger than any human's pulled me back roughly from what would have been the stupidest mistake of my life.

"Shala," I sighed.

"What do you think you're doing?" demanded the stunning half-Human, half-Sona girl.

"What does it look like?" I asked, uncaring. My eyes wandered back to my former death sentence with a strange sort of longing that I can't describe.

Shala frowned at me. "It _looked_ like you were trying to make permanent contact with the devil. What the hell is wrong with you, Cassie?"

I shook my head, unable to speak.

Shala's far-seeing eyes sought mine, desperate for understanding. "_Why_, Cassie?" She sounded genuinely confused.

Try as I might, I couldn't force myself to ignore the pleading in her voice. I turned to face her lovely visage.

"Shala… I can't expect you to understand. It's a human thing, something your mother would have killed me on site had she been here and known what I was doing. It's called grief."

Shala nodded slowly. "I'm aware of that. But you've felt this before, Cassie. What made it turn suicidal so suddenly?"

"Did you hear about Ronnie?" I asked abruptly.

"No."

"Didn't think so." I drew a deep breath. "He killed himself yesterday, Shala. In his room. With a gun."

Her eyes widened. "Cassie… I'm so sorry!"

_A totally human response,_ I thought mildly. Had her mother been alive to see her, she would have been delighted.

"'S'okay," I lied. "I'm fine now, Shal."

A slight frown creased her delicate features. "There is something else."

_Oh, what the hell,_ I decided. She'd find out sooner or later.

"The Ellimist paid me a visit the other day," I began.

Shala's deep blue eyes widened. She knew the Ellimist.

I opened my mouth to tell her more, but the words in my mind evaporated on my tongue. "Shala…" I frowned. "You're not going to believe me."

Shala laughed a little at that. "Cassie, you really don't know me that well, do you. I tend to witness the impossible. Tell me."

And so I did. About the Ellimist, about my friends, about my decision, about Ronnie. Everything.

Except Ax.

Ax was… too confusing, too painful a subject to bring up. I couldn't understand why, and my ever-annoying mind-voice laughed without much humor at that. I could talk about Ronnie, I could talk about Jake, I could talk about Rachel and my suicidal plan, but Ax was off-limits.

"Cassie?"

I looked up, startled. "Yeah, Shala?"

"Are you going to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Save them. Are you going to go after your friends?"

I stared at my hands. "I don't really have much to lose, do I?" I asked softly, for the first time realizing the truth of that statement.

"Say that again, and you'll be more sorry than you have in your life," Shala warned, her face darkening in anger.

I swallowed, then asked bravely, "What do I have to lose then?"

"Your life. Your friends. Are you really so willing to throw that all away?"

"I don't have any friends."

"What am I, chopped liver?" She grinned slightly. "Did I get it right?"

I smiled. "Perfect, Shal."

Her beautiful face twisted up. "You haven't answered my question yet, Cassie. What are you going to do?"

I sighed. My eyes closed for a minute as I thought.

Save Jake. It was so tempting. But what was going to stop me from going saving Ax instead?

_What?!_

Some of my inward shock must have registered on my face, because Shala asked, "What? What is it, Cassie?"

I shook my head in confusion. "Nothing, Shala. I just… never mind. I'm going."

She blinked. Then, all at once, the protests began to fall from her lips.

"Cassie, are you insane? You can't go! You'll be killed! You don't even know where they are, it could take you years, Cassie, please-"

I impulsively put my hand on her shoulder in an effort to dam the flow of words shooting out from her mouth like a gun.

A fragment of memory pierced my mind.

Gun. Oh, man.

"Shala, you really don't know me that well, either. I can't let my friends die. To do so would be as if I myself had stabbed them with a knife through the heart. I have killed so many, lost so much, I need to keep what I do have. If it costs me my life, then I'm okay with that. As long as I know I have tried."

A flash of anger struck her eyes. "Do you think only of yourself, Cassie? Has it ever occurred to you that you are needed here? That I need you? Have you even thought of anyone but yourself since the Ellimist came to you?"

Raw hurt stabbed at me. Was I really so selfish? "Shala, what use am I to you? In every way, I am more of a burden these days, something to be thrown in the waste to rot. You have lived on your own for the majority of your life. You can take care of yourself."

Her blue eyes caught mine, searching. "Sure I can, Cassie. But maybe I don't want to. I'm only sixteen, as far as we can tell. I still need guidance, and I can admit to that. My mother is dead, my father died long ago. You're the closest thing I have to family. Maybe I don't want to be alone anymore, Cassie."

My eyes stung a little at that admission. When I had first met Shala, I had been sure that there was no one as cold and distant as this hybrid human. Her bluntness had astonished me, and though she often participated in the same bantering with Marco as Rachel did, something about it had been much more intense and serious than the playful arguments we were used to. Her disappearance for several years had done nothing to help that impression.

Yet here she was now, with a pleading in her eyes and voice that I could not ignore, opening herself up to me in a way she had never done with anyone. How could I leave her like this?

"Shala…" I began, and choked up, suddenly more afraid than I have ever been in my entire life.

My conversation with Ronnie had started this way. Would the ending be so also?

No. No. Shala was stronger than Ronnie, I was sure of that.

"I have to go, Shala. I am going."

Shala made a split second decision. "I'm coming with you."

"No, Shala," I said gently. "No. This is something I have to do on my own."

Shala glared at me. "You forget that these are my friends, too. You would have allowed my mother to go."

Rachel? Maybe. "Shala… no. I'm sorry, but I'm going on my own. I have to."

Her blue eyes glinted with anger. "Fine, then. Throw away your life. I should have known better than to care."

With that, Shala walked away, leaving behind nothing but bitterness and hurt in her wake.

Or was it mine?

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**Ooohhh, the drama. Please review, friends, for it causes this fanfic writer great happiness and happiness is what makes the world go 'round. Also usually means more chapters. :D**


	4. Choices

**A/N: A huge thank you to Animorph92, AndalitePrincess, Uzamaki Hinata, Riza-san, bladepaw83, and Solemn Euphoria for reviewing. Seriously, you guys made my day. Yes, I killed Ronnie, and yes, this stuff is serious, but I'll try to make it a bit lighter later on. As always, please read and review as much as possible. luv yazzz!!!! :)**

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Chapter Four

"Ellimist!"

I kneeled on the cold ground, clutching my chest as if it were coming apart. "Ellimist!"

He wouldn't come. How many times had I called for him in the past, very much like this? He never came.

"Ellimist!"

So of course I was surprised when the air crackled and he was suddenly standing exactly two feet in front of my face. I mean, who wouldn't be?

**Yes, Cassie?**

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came. "Ellimist, I…"

I dropped to the ground in a dead faint.

o0o0o0o

_**Cassie!**_

_I was running. I didn't know why, I didn't know how; I had no legs, no body to run with. But I was running._

_**Cassie!**_

_The Voice was calling to me… it was so familiar, so inviting._

_**Cassie, help me…**_

_Jake!_

_I strained to see him, but wisps of fog clouded my vision. Yet I had to see, had to make sure it was him. It could still be the Other…_

_**Cassie!!**_

_I had longed to hear his voice for so long, yet now I was afraid. He was stronger with the enemy. He had hurt me before. What was to prevent him from doing so again?_

_I turned run._

_**Cassie Avery. **__A cruel smile played across his face. __**I have waited so long for you, as well.**_

_It was the Other!_

_He moved slowly closer, that same menacing smile still perfectly in place. __**Cassie Avery, **__he chanted. __**Cassie Avery. You are mine.**_

_A light suddenly pierced the darkness, and I looked up to see another, glowing faintly blue. Ellimist? I asked silently._

_The figure moved closer, so that I could almost- not quite- see his face. A sneer filled with contempt crossed the Other's lips._

_**Who do you choose, Cassie Avery?**__ he asked me. __**Do you choose the one you loved… or him?**_

_I turned desperately from one face to another. Jake's, so beautiful, so frightening. And… and…_

_Ax?_

_Ax!_

_**Ax!**_

_**You must make your choice, Cassie Avery. Us… or him?**_

o0o0o0o

Some hours later I awoke on the ground outside my home. Actually, it had been Ronnie's, but I had moved in with him after his proposal…

My chest twisted painfully as I tried to push away the memory.

**Cassie?**

I closed my eyes, wishing I could lose consciousness again.

**You are awake.**

No, genius, I'm dead.

**Cassie, such thoughts are not beneficial to your health.**

I finally responded. "What do you care?" I asked bitterly. "You've only destroyed my life, why would you care about my mental health? It's just all that I have now days."

**You chose to do this.**

"Yeah? Well, I'm insane. You should have reincarnated Rachel or something. She would have knocked some sense in to me."

**Cassie, you know I cannot do that.**

"Sure, yeah, whatever." I yawned, then winced at the pain that gesture caused me. I must've fallen pretty hard.

**Cassie…**

I sighed. "I know, I know, I've got to find some way to steal a ship now. I really don't have anything to lose, now."

**I suppose not.**

I winced again, almost wishing for Shala's aggressive affection.

"So now what?" I asked. "You gonna help me steal an Andalite spaceship?"

**No.**

"Figures."

**Would you like to learn how your friends accomplished this?**

"No."

The Ellimist smiled. **Very well, then. It is your choice. You must find a way to leave Earth. I can guide you only so much.**

"Well, thank you very much for your assistance, Ellimist. It's been a pleasure working with you," I replied sarcastically.

**The pleasure is mine.**

"AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!"

I turned in utter shock at the guttural scream that pierced the air. No human could make such a sound.

"Ellimist?" I asked slowly. "What is-"

"_Cassie?!??"_

I leapt to my feet in first astonishment, then joy. "Toby!"

My joy turned instantly to concern as I observed her bruised body. Hork-Bajir did not bruise easily. "Are you alright?" I asked, almost forgetting the silent, unobtrusive presence of the Ellimist.

Her eyes blinked wildly. "Yes, Cassie, I'm fine," she replied, sounding utterly bewildered. She turned to me, confused. "What happened?" Her eyes narrowed. "And what is _he_ doing here?"

I followed her gaze. "I truly have no idea," I muttered.

The Ellimist was smiling again. That casual, bemused almost-grin of his was really beginning to annoy me. **I assumed you needed assistance.**

I bit back the age-old saying Marco had taught me long ago. Something about assuming making a-

"So you brought Toby?" I asked irritably. "Couldn't you have given us some warning?"

He shrugged. **Perhaps.**

I rolled my eyes and took a very confused Toby by the leathery-like arm. "Come on, Toby. I think I have some explaining to do."

She glared at the Ellimist for a moment, and then looked at me with a total, _have-you-gone-nuts-what-are-getting-me-into-this-time? _expression on her face. I sighed. This was going to take a while.

She startled me with her harsh reply to my statement. "Like hell you do!"

She was getting more human all the time…

o0o0o0o

"So what you are telling me is that Jake and the others are somehow still alive?" Toby asked incredulously.

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Cassie, that's impossible," she stated flatly.

I nodded again. "Yeah, I know."

"So why are you going?"

"Because I can."

She sighed in a very unToby-like frustration. "Cassie, this doesn't make any sense whatsoever. And you expect me to help you with this?"

"I don't expect it. The Ellimist does."

Toby shot a wary glance at the old blue man standing only a short distance away from us. "I guess I don't have a choice then?" she asked.

"Doesn't look like it."

She sighed again, this time in defeat. "All right, you win. I'll help. I'll round up some of my team and we'll get you a ship." Her large eyes narrowed slightly. "On one condition."

It was my turn to sigh now. "What condition?" I asked wearily.

"You don't die."

I pretended to consider for a moment. Then I struck out my hand and she caught it firmly.

"Deal."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Review!! Review!! Review!!! :D**


	5. Blurry Lines

Chapter Five

_I do not know how long I have been here. I do not know how much longer I will stay, or if I will ever leave. That seems to be a more likely possibility, somehow. All I know is that I am here, alone._

_No, not entirely alone. __**He **__is here, sometimes with me, sometimes with his people. But he is here, making my life miserable._

_I am a part of him, now, and I cannot break free. But he also is a part of me. Sometimes I can control him. Sometimes I can control myself._

_But most of the time, he is in control of Us._

_I know that I cannot survive without him. But if I am ripped from him, if I somehow escape, will it even hurt him as it would me? This question plagues me as I float in this never-ending captivity._

_Never-ending. Forever._

_I was a fool to call out to Jake. I should never have done so. It has cost my friends their lives._

_No, not their lives, in a physical sense. They are not dead. But they might as well be._

_The One has assimilated them into itself. His self. And, like me, they cannot escape._

_I cannot communicate with them. I only know that they are here, with me, just like __**him.**__ It was foolish for Jake to come. He should not have come._

_Yet, somehow, deep within me, I am pleased. He cared enough to come. He still cares. Long ago (not long?) I wouldn't have expected that. I didn't think he was still capable of caring._

_But now, the depth of his compassion has landed him here, with me. I cannot speak to him, cannot tell him how glad I am to see him or how angry at him I am for his coming here._

_I can only think it, and hope that somehow, he understands._

_And Cassie._

_She is beautiful, even by Andalite standards. It is impossible to deny that. But even if she were horribly hideous, something within her draws me, like steel to a magnet. I have tried to keep the boundaries between her and I clear, but it is difficult, even now. I can hear her long silent voice calling to me across space. She needs me._

_I need her._

_I do not understand this. What is it that binds my mind to hers, even so far away? My unasked questions need to be answered, yet there are not._

_The line between friendship and something more is not very clear, and I had to leave her for a time, afraid. Of it, of her, of being afraid. I was frightened, and that is unworthy of an Andalite warrior._

_Or even of a child who has seen what I have seen._

_The line continues to be blurred, but I am unsure whether she sees it as I do. Perhaps her vision is better than mine._

_In any case, I need her._

_I need her._

_Cassie._

_I do not know how long I have been here. I do not know how much longer I will stay, or if I will ever leave. That seems to be a more likely possibility, somehow. All I know is that I am here, alone. And that, even if I escape, I will be here forever._

_I did not count on the one I… love?_

_Firing Dracon beams drown out all else._

_**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________**_

**This chapter is shooooooooooooooooooorrrt!! :) I hope you can guess who's narrating this piece, and if you can't, it sucks to be you. LOL, just kidding, just kidding...**

**Reviews!! Yes, I am speaking again of those lovely little notes you paste onto my stories to either cause me great joy or annoy to heck out of me. You gotta love those things.**

**Oh, yeah. I love constructive critisism.**

**And, yeah, I'm babbling on, trying to make this short chapter look longer. An age-old trick used by thousand of fanficcers around the world.**

**blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... I paused, considered for a moment, and then added, MONKEYS!!!  
**


	6. My Closest Friend

Chapter Six

Toby was my new best friend.

Or my new worst enemy- I wasn't sure which.

She and the Hork-Bajir got me a ship, all right. The thing was magnificent, deadly, indescribable. I've never been one for technology, but seriously, it was beautiful.

I turned to Toby with an idiotic grin on my face. "I love it!" I exclaimed.

She smiled knowingly. "I thought you might."

I ran around it, admiring her from all angles. She was a small ship, almost the size of a Yeerk Bug fighter. She shined a brilliant purple, my favourite colour. It took me a moment to remember that purple was also a common favourite on the Andalite homeworld, too.

I ran my fingers across her smooth hull. "She needs a name," I said absently.

Toby nodded. "I wasn't sure what you would like."

I grinned at the Hork-Bajir seer. She made it sound like she had just gone to the mall to pick out some clothes for me, a thing Rachel had regularly indulged herself in.

"Was it really that easy?" I asked.

She shook her large bladed head. "Not really. But there are few Andalite warriors who can stand a dozen Hork-Bajir when their Dracon beams are inoperable."

"Wow," I replied, looking back to the small deadly fighter.

"So what will you name her?" Toby asked.

I frowned, trying to picture my friends standing around a similar ship, trying to answer the same question. What had they named theirs?

That was easy. Tobias had been there, and I remembered the dangerous grin on Jake's face before he left. _**Let's do it…**_

_Rachel_. It had to be.

So what could I name my humble little tigress?

Countless names ran through my mind, but none seemed to fit. Finally, I turned to Toby in desperation. "What do you think?"

Toby licked her rough lips. "_Aldrea_…?" she ventured at last.

I smiled, looking at the tough little ship. "Perfect," I whispered to myself. Aldrea, the Andalite. Fierce, strong, capable. So much like Ax…

I forced my mind to more important matters. "Do you think I really need weapons?" I asked disapprovingly.

Toby nodded fiercely. "Definitely," she replied. "Whatever managed to capture Jake and the others could easily take you if you're not careful." She looked at me hard. "Be careful," she repeated, stressing the concept.

I inclined my head, unable to speak with such obvious concern for my welfare directed at me. What did my friends see in me that made them care so?

"I'll try, Toby, but no promises," I managed. "Please… don't be hurt."

She looked into my eyes, her black alien irises meeting my own brown. "No promises," she repeated slowly, her own silent vow.

I swallowed. "Can you… can you tell my parents?" I requested softly. "I-I never told them."

"I'll tell them. And we'll all be here when you come back," Toby said gently, her large bladed hand reaching out to take mine.

In the years since Rachel's death, I had come to view the young Hork-Bajir as my closest friend, almost the sister I never had. She understood me, had even trusted me enough to tell me Tobias's whereabouts when I had become concerned about my friend. I had lived with the Hork-Bajir for a long time, working with her on a daily basis due to my line of work. I cared about Toby.

"I'll miss you," I said now, unsure of what else I _could _say in this situation. How do you say good-bye to you best friend, knowing you may never see them again?

She pulled me close in a crushing hug, almost knocking the breath from me. Such a human gesture from someone so obviously alien proved her sisterly love for me. Somehow, I found myself struggling to wrap my arms around her large body, despite my lack of air.

If you had told me seven years ago that telling a walking jackknife goodbye would cause me so much pain, I would have… well, I would have assumed you had some deep problem to come up with such a lame joke. Yet here I was, tears streaming freely down my cheeks like a little girl who had lost the only security she had ever known.

"I'll miss you, too, Cassie-_kash,_" whispered Toby, adding the Hork-Bajir term of endearment to the end of my name.

My only response was to hold her tighter.

_Is this normal? Ax asks me._

_I smile, trying to be reassuring. You miss them, I say. That's perfectly normal._

_His sarcastic reply startles me. I know so little about him; how am I supposed to comfort this alien? _

_But he's not alien now… he's human… and he's close to tears, almost._

_What do I do?_

_If he were human, I'd put my arms around him. I wouldn't hesitate to do so with Jake or Tobias. Marco… maybe not. But… he's an alien. What does he expect of me?_

_Part of me is utterly aching to hold him close, to tell him it's all right to cry. But he has no idea what's wrong with him. He probably thinks he's sick or something. So instead, I offer to let him stay for dinner._

_He seems surprised. It takes me a moment to realize that if he were in his normal alien form, I would have absolutely no idea what he was feeling. He always seems so adult as an Andalite… But when he morphs human, it always shocks me. He's really just a kid._

_He's really not so different._

I pulled back from Toby, startled at the flash of memory. What caused it?

"Cassie?" Toby asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," I mumbled, dizzy. Ax…

"Perhaps you shouldn't go," she began.

"No! I'm going, I'm fine. I just…"

Toby frowned slightly. "Just what, Cassie?"

My confused expression mirrored hers. "I... I don't know! I remembered something, and I think it was important, but it's gone now."

Toby put a clawed hand on my shoulder. "Cassie…"

"I'm FINE!" I exploded violently.

Toby recoiled in shock. "Cassie!"

"Stop acting so concerned! I can take care of myself! Let me go, leave me alone… Ronnie!"

Strong arms caught me as I collapsed, unconscious.

o0o0o0o

"Cassie! Cassie, wake up!"

Stinging eyes opened slightly at the gruff, worried voice. "Toby…? What the-?"

"I'm here, it's okay, sshhhhh…" Toby said, helping me up slowly.

I shook my head, trying to clear my jumble thoughts. "What happened?"

Her black eyes darkened. "You just… collapsed. I don't know why."

"Ax…" I murmured, confused.

"Yes, you said something about him as you fell. 'Ax, no! Help me. I can't choose; it hurts too much. Ax!' Or something like that."

I rubbed my head. "This has happened before. With the Ellimist. I just fainted, that's all. Too much emotion, I guess.

Her face clouded with concern. "Do you think you're sick?"

I shook my head in negation. "No, I'll be fine." I looked around. "Where's the ship?"

Toby lifted me to my feet. "You're looking in the wrong direction, Cassie. It's right there," she told me, pointing.

I looked. Somehow, my precious little fighter seemed to have lost some of her shine while I was away in Dream Land.

I swallowed. Was this really such a good idea?

"Do what you have to do, Cassie," Toby said, reading my mind.

I nodded. "Okay, then. Okay. I'm doing this. I am," I stated firmly.

She smiled. "That's my _Aldrea._"

I cocked my head at the _Aldrea._ "Show me how to work it?" I asked, trying to make up for something I wasn't sure I did.

"Of course." The frightening Hork-Bajir smile remained in place.

Perfect.

My perfect family.

o0o0o0o

_She is getting closer. I can feel it._

o0o0o0o

_Several months later_

I sighed.

Space, the final frontier…

Whiteness. How exciting.

Six months in a beautiful ship I couldn't even see. If I wasn't careful, I was going to go crazy with cabin fever! Oh, sure, I could make it look like I was in normal space, look out the window and see real stars. But seriously, you seen one sun go nova, you've seen them all.

I turned to my bed, then turned away. Constant sleep is a sign of cabin fever. I had to be careful.

Ax. Focus on Ax.

_Elfangor placed his trust in you. I am trying to understand why you would betray him in return. Why you would betray me._

_Ax's strangely green eyes flash with anger. He's right, I realize. I did betray him. _

_Oh, Ax, I'm sorry, I want to say. I didn't mean to hurt you, no, never hurt you…_

_You're right, I say, putting my hands over my face. I want to cry. I've never hurt like this before. Why is he doing this to me?_

_Because I betrayed him. Because I deserve it._

_He hates me._

_I did betray you. I never thought…_

_I am unable to finish._

_No, he agrees. Where is the kind, slightly ditzy, __**human**__ kid I know in this cold Andalite warrior? Where did my friend go?_

_Did __**I **__do this to him?_

_His voice is like ice. I am still trying to understand what it was you did think._

_I rub at my temples, trying to find words. I didn't want to hurt you…_

_I can't find an answer._

_He nods. That is what I thought, he says, and then he turns and walks away without looking back. _

_I fall to the ground, tears rolling my cheeks. What have I done? I ask myself. What have I done?_

_How could I have fallen in love with __**him**__?_

I opened my eyes. "No, it didn't happen like that," I muttered.

(RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ENEMY SHIP WITHIN FIRING RANGE!)

I jumped to my feet, heart thundering. "WHAT?!!??"

(AUTOMATIC DESCENT FROM ZERO-SPACE! ALL HANDS, PREPARE FOR BATTLE!)

"Shut up!" I screamed, uselessly banging my hands against the console. "This can't be happening!"

_What do I do? What do I do??!!??_

Dracon beams. No, Shredders. That's what the Andalites use. I needed to use the Shredder beams!

Tssssssseeeeewwww!!!

TSSSSSSEEEEEWWWW!!!

"Uh oh," I whispered.

A Yeerk ship had decloaked. And instantly, I could tell that this battle, I would lose.

**______________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Suspense! Okay, yeah, that chapter was a little jumpy, I admit. But guess what! Next chapter, Cassie and Ax may meet...**

**Just a little teaser...**


	7. Reunion

Chapter Seven

(YEERK BLADE SHIP COMING AROUND! RED ALERT! RED ALERT!)

"Oh, will you just shut up?" I muttered, still in shock. The constant scream of thought-spoken sirens was giving me a headache, and that was a weakness I could _not_ afford to have.

The ship that opposed me was lacked earthly description. A blade ship, similar to Visser One's, yet so much more powerful. There was no way that my tiny little fighter could stand even a chance against it.

_Ax!_ my mind called desperately. But what could he do? He was… he was…

He was here!

On that ship!

What?

In my confusion, I became aware of a red light blinking steadily on the console. That meant I was being hailed, I recalled.

Hesitantly, I pressed the button below it, and jumped back as the screen exploded with a holographic projection of a human controller.

"Uh… hi?" I said. "I come in peace?"

He laughed. "So you are the commander of the most powerful fighter in the Andalite fleet. I almost feel sorry for you. A human girl, incapable of defending herself. Tell me, how did you manage to steal such a ship?"

Most powerful… What? What was he talking about?

"That's for me to know and you to find out," I replied lamely. I had never been good with confrontations.

He shook his head, an amused smile on his face. "Trust me, we will."

"Who's _we_?" I asked idiotically. _Cassie! Are you_ asking_ for suicide?_

He smiled widely. "'We' are those who follow the One," he informed me solemnly.

The One… It sounded so familiar…

The One!

My eyes widened. The Ellimist had talked about the One. He was… he was Crayak's creature. He was the guy who had captured Ax.

An unquenchable anger rose in me suddenly. He had stolen my friends from me, had stolen my life. There was no way anyone was going to get away with that.

I decided to play dumb. "Okay, fine then. The One. Who the heck is the One?"

His tranquil smile grew even wider, if possible. "I think you know, Cassie the Animorph."

I froze. No one called me that anymore! No one. Who _was_ this guy?

"Cassie, the killer with a conscience. Kill them, then cry over them," he goaded darkly. My eyes inexplicably filled with tears. What was wrong with me?

_Ax…_

Think! Who had said that before?

Crayak. The Drode.

_Ax…_

You idiot! Concentrate, think, now, when your life depends on it. I needed to… needed to…

What would Jake do?

Jake!

I forced a twisted smile upon my face. "Yeah, that's me," I said. "Wanna make somethin' of it?"

Schoolyard taunts. Yet somehow, they managed to force a reaction from him.

"What did you say?" he asked incredulously.

I hid a triumphant grin. So, I was getting somewhere. "You heard me. I am in control of the most powerful ship in the Andalite fleet, and I know how to work it. I am Cassie the Animorph. I can and will destroy you if necessary. Do not provoke me." I informed him dangerously. I had never been that great an actress, but somehow, I had managed to convince him that I was not afraid.

_I'll make you proud, Jake,_ I vowed silently. _He won't see past my bluff._

His expression turned sinister. "Of course," he said, and then the screen went blank.

All I wanted to do after that was to collapse with sheer terror. But I had no idea how advanced their technology was. Maybe they were watching me right now, regarding my every move, searching for weakness.

I allowed an ironic smile to touch my lips. _Hanging around Marco so much has made you paranoid, Cassie,_ I thought. _Stupid alien technology, anyway._

TSSSEEEEEEEWWWW!!!

I fell to the deck, hands covering my ears. "_Dang _it!" I muttered, climbing to my feet.

_Oh, man, you _have _provoked me,_ I thought irritably. _You people really need to learn some human etiquette._

"Okay, 'Most Powerful Ship in the Andalite Fleet'," I said, speaking to the console. "Kick butt or bust."

I ignored the fact that I could easily envision Rachel saying the same thing and took the joystick in my sweaty hand. Squeezed. Watched as the brilliant light splayed across the other ship in a flash of fire.

TSSSSSSEEEEEWWWW!!!

That rocked it. The Yeerk ship swayed to the left, one of its engines destroyed. Good or bad? I wondered. Was I doing the right thing?

Was this how Jake always felt?

Yeah. Yeah, this was exactly what Jake felt.

And I had pushed him over the edge.

TSSSEEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!

_Ax!_

A frown formed on my face as I concentrated harder than I had in my life. _Ax!_ I called silently, knowing without knowing that somehow, he could hear me, that he was there, on that ship. Alive.

_Ax! Come on, where are you?_

_Ax!_

_Ca-Ca…_

I wanted to jump right out of my skin. Alive! He was A! L! I! V! E!

_Ax? _I whispered, afraid that I would lose him. His "voice" was so faint…

…_ss-ss…_

_Yeah, that's it, _I encouraged. I almost collapsed with relief. That familiar thought-speech voice was like balm to an open wound.

And he was alive!

_Ca…ss…ie…_

_Yes! Ax, that's it!_

_Cassie?_

_Ax, are you all right? Where are you?_

_I-I don't know. It's so dark… Cassie, you should not have come._

_No. No, don't talk about that. I'm here, and you can't do anything about it, _I stated firmly.

_Obviously._

I grinned. Then, in a rush, my mind returned to the present.

The other ship was coming around. Preparing to fire.

And Ax was on it.

_What do I do? _I panicked.

_Cassie, listen to me. You need to fire if you want to save yourself, _Ax's Voice whispered in my mind.

_I don't want to save myself,_ I argued._ I want to save you!_

_No, Cassie. Leave, please. I cannot stand to lose another friend to __**him.**_

I heard the naked grief in that Voice and fought against it, knowing that this time, I could not give in. _You're not gonna lose me. I'm getting you out of there._

_No, Cassie! Please!_

My chest caved. This situation was far too familiar.

Ronnie!

_Ax, I need to save you,_ I said, remembering something the Ellimist told me. _If I don't, I'm going to go insane. Literally. Do you really want that?_

His confusion and shock were plain._ What are you talking about? Cassie?_

_If I can get you out of there, I'll explain,_ I said desperately. _Ax, help me!_

Help me!

All at once, I felt a rush of warmth entering my mind.

_Ax? What's happening?_

_I'm helping you._

_How?_

_I… do not know…_

The human controller appeared on the screen so suddenly I just about jumped into the roof.

"Cassie the Animorph. Surrender yourself to the One."

"What happens if I refuse?" I asked stupidly, grasping at straws.

He smiled sadistically. "It is of no consequence. Either way, you will be assimilated into the One."

"You might as well say 'Resistance is futile'," I muttered, not intending for him to hear.

He did anyway. "Perhaps," he said. Then he was gone.

_Ax, who is the One, anyway?_

His weary answer was instantaneous. _The One is a being of immense power, a being created by Crayak to assimilate entire worlds into itself, so that the Ellimist cannot fight back with his own army. The One does not seem to understand, however, that it is being used, and will eventually be destroyed._

_So how does that help us?_

_I do not know._

_Have you been 'assimilated'?_

He couldn't even nod. _Yes._

_What about the others? Are they here, too?_

_Yes, they are here,_ he replied softly, with raw grief slicing through his Voice.

_Can we talk to them?_

_No._ He seemed to frown inwardly. _I am still at loss at how I am communicating with _you._ For a long time, the only being I have spoken with is the One._

I felt sadness well in me at his predicament. No one to talk to, when speaking was the only way for an Andalite to express his feelings. So hopelessly lost and confused he had lost all sense of time and simply drifted, in constant pain.

_We're going to get you out, Ax,_ I said determinedly.

His invisible smile was sardonic._ You can try._

Suddenly, I felt an intense pain at the back of my head, like a thousand tiny needles were poking me, injecting me with some dangerous, illegal drug.

_Ax! What's happening?_

His Voice was frightened. _He's attempting to assimilate you! Fight him, Cassie! Fight him!_

The pain grew steadily worse. _I-I can't! Help me, Ax!!_

Despair radiated from him. _I'm trying! Cassie, I'm not strong enough! He's still in control of me!_

_Help me, Ax! Oh, God, please stop this!_

It was like I was drowning in pain. I was being violated. The One was within my mind, within my thoughts! He was reading me, from every horribly painful incident I had endured throughout my life to the precious times spent with Jake or Ronnie.

He would find out about the Ellimist!

"No," I whispered, though how I was still capable of speech, I had no idea.

I fought him with everything I had, and still it wasn't enough. _Help me, AX!_ I screamed.

_I-I can't! Oh, no, CASSIE!_

_Help me, Ax, _I whispered. I was losing.

_No!_ I couldn't lose! I had everything to lose!

_Cassie!_ Ax screamed, so terribly frightened it was affecting my ability to concentrate.

"No," I repeated quietly. My strength was being drained from me. I was blacking out…

_No!_

And suddenly, Ax was there, at my side, fighting the One with all his strength. All our strength.

_You!_ gasped the One.

_Surprise,_ Ax replied.

There was no way the One could fight our combined strength. It was too unexpected, too early in his battle to conquest the universe. Gradually, I felt him fading from my mind.

And was faced with another presence, almost directly on top of me.

"Oh!" I breathed, shocked.

It was Ax!

He stumbled back, pale with hunger and exhaustion. (Cassie!)

And suddenly he was enveloped in a warm human embrace.

(Cassie, I-)

"I missed you, Ax," I whispered.

He hesitated, then slowly, awkwardly put his small arms around me. (I… have missed you also, Cassie,) he said wonderingly.

I realized how uncomfortable he felt and drew back, not understanding how I knew this. His facial expression was… well, it was Andalite.

He wobbled a little as my arms came back from around him, as if he were dizzy.

Of course, I realized. He hadn't had even a body for so long; of course he was going to be a little clumsy.

(Cassie, I…) he began. (Cassie…)

He pitched forward suddenly, back into my arms, scaring the hell out of me.

Exhaustion. He had collapsed from sheer exhaustion.

As I was on the verge of doing myself.

Cautiously, I half-dragged the large Andalite over to the sleeping area, where I dropped him none to gently to the bed.

I fell asleep virtually on top of him shortly after.

**____________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**And the two shall meet!**

**All right, maybe I should have waited a little longer, wait for more reviews, leave the five people who actually read my junk in suspense for a little while...**

**But sorry, I couldn't wait.**

**Um... here, I really must insist that the few readers I have review, because I tend to suck at writing action scenes, so I would like a little feed back on this chapter.**

**Anyway! Hope you enjoyed :D  
**


	8. Acceptance

Chapter Eight

_Ax's POV_

I woke up with a start.

Eyes snapped open. Stalk eyes twisting, wary.

Where was I?

It took a moment for the shock to hit.

I had moved! I myself. I, separate and apart, no longer within the creature who called himself the One.

And an exhausted human girl was asleep beside me, one dark arm splayed limply across my chest.

(Cassie?) I asked softly, placing a hand on her pale face.

The images that assaulted me from her mind caused me to jerk back in surprise.

_Sensing his inward pain, I take his now-human hand in mine, squeezing it gently, trying to transmit encouragement to him._

_Though in the darkness, I cannot not see his face, I feel his appreciation flowing into me, like water in a burbling stream._

_I smile. His hand feels so nice, so warm..._

_No! Bad thoughts. Don't think that away. You can't afford to love him._

_But I do._

_I want to be with him, for him to be at my side always, silent shield._

_I need him._

_Oh, God..._

_I _**_love_**_ him._

I stumbled back, too numb to do anything else but stare. The sudden movement startled Cassie, for she awoke, blinking her eyes sleepily. "Ax?" she asked groggily.

(I am here,) I assured her cautiously.

She yawned and stretched, climbing out of the transformed sleeping area. "Are you okay? You must be stiff," she noted concernedly. "That was no way for an Andalite to sleep."

(I am undamaged,) I replied in the same cautious tone.

She nodded, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Okay. Okay, yeah, that's good."

(Cassie,) I began, unsure. (I... believe you have some explaining to do.)

Her expression darkened considerably. "Um, yeah, I guess you're right." She regarded me helplessly. "Where do you want me to start?"  
(I suppose the beginning is the logical place.)

She smacked her head lightly in the obviousness of my statement. I quickly grabbed her hand and snatched it away, then released it, disturbed by the things I had felt during the brief contact.

She looked at me strangely. "What was that for?" she asked, confused.

I shook my head. (Do not... do not do that again,) I requested, puzzled with myself.

She shrugged. "Okay. No head-smacking. Got it."

I didn't hear her.

What was happening to me?

How could I feel her emotions, her thoughts, by being in simple contact with her?

Andalites could sometime broadcast intense feeling with others, display pictures in one's mind, but I had never mastered that ability.

And Cassie was human.

So how had this happened?

A slight frown had twisted Cassie's expression. "All right. The beginning."

I didn't reply, too confused by the sudden turn of events.

"Uh... okay, the Ellimist came to me," she began hesitantly.

Slowly at first, then in a sudden rush of words, her story came out. All the pain, the grief, the choices she had had to make, the severing of

relationships, the utter hopelessness she had felt all came tumbling out so fast she tripped over her own words.

I listened with a dawning horror, realizing without having to ask that she had done this all for me.

Me. Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. The alien. The outsider.

Why did she care so much?

Her race of words came to an overwhelming crescendo. Unexpectedly, she reached for my hands, squeezing them hard, harder, until the pressure became painful. I didn't dare flinch, though. She needed this.

She needed me.

Hesitantly, I felt my own much smaller hand begin to squeeze back with all the slight power of an Andalite arm.

In response, she collapsed against me, sobbing. Confused, I placed my arms around her as I had the night before, knowing only that this brought her comfort.

And that I had seen Jake make the same movement a million times in the past.

Startled by that revelation, I jerked back and began to tremble uncontrollably. What was wrong with me?

What was happening to me?

"Ax?" Cassie whispered, not understanding, just seeing that her only source of comfort had been cruelly ripped from her.

Once again, I didn't respond. I couldn't.

(What is happening?) I half-whispered, not expecting an answer. (Why do I feel so strange?)

She put an arm on my shoulder and I stumbled back, frightened by what sensations the contact brought me.

(Do not touch me,) I requested softly.

Her puzzled and hurt expression tore at my hearts. "Why not? Are you hurt?"

I shook my head mutely.

"Then what?" she asked, her concern almost palpable.

Something in her expression told me that something was terribly wrong.

(Cassie… what have you not told me?)

Her face paled noticeably. "What are you talking about?"

I moved closer, certain now. (You have hidden something from me. What is it?)

She stepped back. "I-I don't understand."

There was nothing that seemed to make sense in this situation. Unless…

My hearts stopped.

No! It couldn't be!

(Cassie… is it… a bond?) I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

She blinked. "Yes," she answered miserably. "How did you know?"

(I… It reminds me almost of the one I had with my brother.)

Her eyes widened. "What? Are you saying that you've felt this before?"

(Yes,) I said, bewildered.

She stood up to her full height, which, while not very impressive, was enough to force me to move back a step. Then shocking me utterly, she punched my hard in the chest.

(Oof! Cassie, what was that for?)

"You bastard," she said acidly. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you stop it?!"

She savagely struck my face, and then again in the chest. And she kept doing it, until finally I fought past the numbness of shock and in a sudden movement pressed my tail against her throat.

(Cassie! You will cease!)

She fell back onto the bed facedown, sobbing uncontrollably now. "Why? Why didn't you figure it out? Oh, God, Ax, why?"

I hesitated briefly, then carefully put a small hand on her shoulder. (Cassie, what is wrong? What have I done to you?)

She turned over, brushing my hand away. "Tell me about Andalite mental bonds. Tell me everything. Tell me now," she said, a little more calmly.

I blinked at the suddenness, then said, (They usually form between two people who have become very close, or are of the same blood, as my brother and I were. Between two males, this creates an intense friendship. I believe Mertil and Gafinilan shared this. Between male and female…) Had I been human I might have cleared my throat. As it was, I felt a slight flush creep up my cheeks. (Between male and female, such a bond usually results in… in a romantic relationship,) I finished weakly.

Cassie was frowning. "And you can't fight it? You have no choice in the matter?"

(No.)

"Dang it." I saw her face turn slightly red. "So, I guess we… I mean, it's not like… Oh, man, how did this thing even start? We weren't so close!" she exclaimed desperately.

I lowered my stalk eyes in shame. (I believe that this is my fault.)

"Besides the fact that your telepathy formed this bond in the first place," Cassie said dryly, "what do you mean?"

(Being alone among humans… I believe I needed the security of another mind within my own. You have no idea how apart your species is, how separate and alone you are. Andalites are not telepathic, but when I am among my own people, there is a sort of hum in my head, a song that all Andalites sing.) I paused. (Forgive me. I am becoming poetic. But what I am trying to say is that I felt the absence of that… song, and tried to replace it. Yours was the most receptive mind. I am sorry.)

To my surprise, her eyes softened slightly.

(I did not feel the bond forming, Cassie. The only other one I have had is with my brother, and that one was so faint I could barely feel it. But this one… Cassie, I am sorry! I do not mean to read your thoughts, but I cannot block them,) I blurted despairingly, knowing that she must hate me for this.

She looked at me, frowning. "You can read my mind?"

I nodded. (In a sense. The bond is mainly empathetic. I can feel your emotions, but not much else.)

She blanched visibly. "You mean you can feel everything I'm feeling right now?"

(No, no!) I hastened to reassure her. (I can only feel them when I am in physical contact with you. That is why I asked that you not touch me.)

The colour returned to her face, and she gripped my shoulders lightly, as not to hurt me again. "I… I think I understand now, Ax. I don't blame you, and I'm sorry for freaking out like that. It was just… just so unexpected. The Ellimist told me you didn't know the bond was forming; I don't know why I didn't believe him. I'm sorry."

(You… you don't mind?)

She shook her head, her now-long hair shaking back and forth, and smiled faintly. "No, I guess I never did. I was surprised, that's all." She began to massage my shoulders lightly.

Slowly, I felt myself begin to relax under her gentle ministrations. I hadn't realized how incredibly tense I had been.

I felt I had to say something. (Thank you, Cassie.)

"For what?" she asked.

(For accepting the bond,) …_and me_, I finished silently.

From the smile that crossed her face, she might have actually heard my silent message.

I believe she did.


End file.
